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The teachers prepare for their first day of work at the British Academy for Physical Education

Following on from the wave of new faith-based schools which have opened under the government’s flagship ‘Free Schools’ program, a new ‘race-based’ school is set to open in the Bedfordshire town of Luton.

The organisers behind the state-funded ‘British Academy for Physical Education‘, the first of its kind in the country, say it is being set up in response to demand from local white parents. The institution is independent of local authority control and will have an intake quota of 50% white students. The remaining intake will be open to non-white ethnicities.

The school will have a traditional ‘white British’ ethos, and will encourage sports which white British people are thought to be good at, such as rugby, hockey and croquet. Tennis and football will be discouraged.

The curriculum will also be more white British-centric, with history lessons focusing on great, white British leaders such as Winston Churchill and Oswald Mosley. New subjects, such as ‘social engineering’ and ‘racial hygiene’ will also be taught.

Mr Enoch Powell, the chair of governors at the Academy said: “We are delighted to be using taxpayer money to promote segregation. Only through protecting traditional British whiteness, and strictly limiting the influx of non-whites, will we be able to school our next generation in the true British faith.”

However opening has been delayed as the school is subject to a legal challenge from a teacher’s union. A union spokesperson said, “This school will turn the clock back 50 years on race relations in this country. Under the Equalities Act it is illegal to discriminate on grounds of race or religion – so how can it be legal to open a 50% white school?”

The Education Secretary Mr Gove, commented on the new school, saying: “Well I went to Eton, which has been a 100% white school since 1440, so I don’t see what all the fuss is about.”

‘Vulcan Science Academy’, a race-based school for people who are half-human and half-Vulcan is also due to open soon in the UK.

N.B. In case it wasn’t clear, this is a satirical piece of writing.

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