In an unprecedented move of doing as he preaches, David Cameron has set the Big Society rolling by relinquishing his annual salary of £142,500 to become a ‘volunteer PM’. Explained Mr Cameron;
“It has become clear that the Big Society wouldn’t work as long as I and others who can afford to work for free, kept, or even increased our very Big Wage Packets.
“By volunteering my services for free and thus shrinking the unnecessarily Big State, that’s one less bureaucratic non-job to worry about cutting. My former salary can instead go towards keeping community libraries open – something which is very close to my heart.”
As he spoke he received rapturous support from the Chairman of the Conservative Party, Eric Pickles, who although refusing to do his Communities Secretary non-job voluntarily, added:
“The last Labour government fostered a culture of unhealthy reliance; one where people actually expected to get paid for the level of work they did. Meanwhile financiers who were working tirelessly for the good of the nation were viciously denied state support.
“Bankers were left to eke out a living from such dirty work as fractional-reserve banking, credit cards repayment plans, cash machine withdrawal fees, account charges, mortgages, bonds, investments, credit default swaps, high-interest loans, overdraft fees and complex derivatives.
“I’m clearly not a greedy man, which is why I’m happy to end this decadence by supporting handing other people’s salaries over to help fund the Big Banker Bailout.”
The remainder of the Cabinet is expected to follow suit and ‘turn volunteer’ shortly, whilst the Prime Minister has indicated that he wants every coalition MP to volunteer to give up their salary too – or run the risk of having it forcibly removed, like everyone else in the public sector.
However it is expected they might be permitted a grace period, as Mr Cameron made swift use of his new volunteer credentials to concede that he wouldn’t be coming into work for the next two weeks, as he ‘had a cold’. This means his work plan of dismantling the NHS and welfare systems in order to bring the country to it’s knees will unfortunately have be put on hold, pending his return.
Despite this surprise u-turn, Mr Cameron is not expected to invest any of his estimated personal wealth of £30 million into the critically-underfunded ‘Big Society bank‘, with one aide commenting, “we’re all middle-class now – which is why we ALL must pay for this Big Idea; we’re in it together.”