So I’ll admit it – I did once take up a Telegraph offer. It was only a one time thing, and it meant nothing to me. The whole time I was thinking of The Guardian! It was only for a series of photography guides, and for what it’s worth, I cut out the coupons from the copies at my former work place’s reception area when I worked the front of house desk.
I was very very careful to tick all the ‘no-crap-please’ options on the form, especially since I had to inexplicably fill out each coupon with my name, address, phone number, email, favourite ice cream flavour and every other goddamn piece of information about me they could dream up that was totally irrelevant to my redeeming the coupons for the booklets at WHSmiths. I did however take particular pleasure in forcefully ticking the box that said “never” against the question “how often do you buy the Telegraph”.
Nevertheless, and perhaps inevitably, some peon someone has ignored all the data privacy options when putting my data into some Telegraph marketing database, and since then I’ve received regular invitations for ‘special offer subscriptions’ every few months. Incidentally, I did write back to the generous fellow who kept offering me these “amazing offers – a bloke called Martin Harris (Subscriptions Manager) – politely asking him to focus his efforts elsewhere. Sadly Martin did not listen.
Since the subscriptions division of The Telegraph is apparently incapable of reading written letters (but funnily enough not forms with valuable potential customer information in them), I’m trying a more…forward approach; this is going back in their pre-paid envelope…
Well I didn’t want to come off as rude, did I?